Tis the season to… take the piss.

• Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear?
• Multiple Personality Disorder: We Three Queens Disoriented Are
• Amnesia: I Don’t Know if I’ll be Home for Christmas
• Narcissistic: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
• Manic: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and …
• Paranoid: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
• Borderline Personality Disorder: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
• Full Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why
• Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells …
• Agoraphobia: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My House
• Senile Dementia: Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe
• Oppositional Defiant Disorder: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I burned down the House
• Social Anxiety Disorder: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas while I Sit Here and Hyperventilate.