I have great difficulty getting to sleep. The wife disappears to sleep about 10pm, while I’m wide awake still at 1am and sleep is the last thing on my mind.

The usual trick of reading a chapter of a book or just relaxing doing nothing doesn’t work any more, not that my brain knows what “relax” is anyway so I’ve resorted to the trick my brother uses.

So for this to work, you take one pair of the shittiest headphones, in this case Alba.

Cut off the left or right, your choice honestly, earpiece and wrap some insulation tape around it. Colour selection is yours, but I don’t recommended my choice of shitty brown that I’ve used, only because I haven’t a clue where the black tape is.

Next find an mp3 player that you’ve not used in a year because your spanking new, flash as fuck smartphone is better at it, which you threw in your discarded crap drawer.

Now load it would some great tracks.

Now. Sleep.

Well that’s the theory anyway. Hopefully it’ll work and in seven hours 15 minutes I’ll wake up refreshed instead of waking up in seven hours 15 minutes fucking shattered as I’ve spend four of those hours looking at the bloody ceiling because I can’t bloody sleep!

By mh

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