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Another rant about designers

I have a love/hate relationship with designers, and I can say with absolute predictability, that it’s mostly been hate.

Past experience of a designers sending a web site design done Adobe InDesign or a spec so concise it could fit on a fucking stamp, really didn’t make life easy. Of course, that’s presuming you get a specification at all, hearing the words “do what you want” always filled me with dread as I knew with certainty that I’d end up doing 17 revisions of same fucking thing over and over again because the vague phrase “clean looking” means jack shit.

I love that some prick just out of university with a degree in design can be paid an exorbitant amount of money to piss around in Adobe Photoshop, fucking around with every combination of RGB values until it looks “nice and clean.”   No, sorry, I forget they can also draw boxes and use type tool to put “So and so goes here.”

And heaven forbid if a developer, like me, doesn’t make it an exact copy of their ever so precious piece of design. Yes, that one pixel difference ruins it huh?  Twat.

In the past it has caused more stress than anything else. It’s their “baby” and their intransigence to any slight modification of MY design” beggars belief.

It’s actually quite refreshing that the UI/UX designer I work with is… well… a laugh to work with and actually flexible. He’ll sit next to me and suggest changes to his work, and he always asks me for my input. Who would of thought it was possible 🙂

I like to keep up to date with design trends, and so you can imagine my reaction when I read my design feeds, and some pretentious hipster prick is banging on about him being a design wizard/ninja/god/etc.

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I was reading an article the other day, and I forgot to bookmark it, where some cock was going on about a design he was working on, and how he had to, and I remembered this part in particular, “ninjitsu” something it to work.

Sorry? What the fuck is “ninjitsu”? But then I remembered I was reading an article by a pretentious prick, and from what I can gather, it what developers refer to as a bodge/hack/workaround. Developers don’t have an ego the size of fucking Jupiter, so we don’t “ninjitsu” anything, nor do we have an over inflated sense of self-importance to call ourselves “rock stars.”

Designers, learn to be just a little more pragmatic about things. Developers don’t try to be awkward for the sake of it, we don’t go out of our way to fuck up your precious designs.

 

The pond life known as ‘web designers’

Just having a conversation with a network administrator, and as he started to mock me as a web developer, I happened to mention that at least I’m not a web designer, they are after all, and I quote “lower the down the evolutionary ladder than an lobotomised amoeba.”

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Was I too harsh? Not a fucking bit.

I’m sure web designers are very good at sitting in front of Photoshop or Fireworks all day, dreaming up what passes for “design” with this week’s current trends.

Just don’t think you can interfere with the development process once your job is done.
That’s when I start to lose my temper, and any respect, if there was any to start with.

Web development is a pain in the arse at the best of times, but then having to deal with the convoluted HTML that some WYSIWYG editor has spat out with hundreds of tiny image because “it’s the best use of bandwidth” that some cock has ‘designed’ is really the icing on the cake.

If you want to know how to deflate these fuckers ego’s, just show them how their pride and joy web site, hot of the press, is going to look on a mobile device and ask them to fuck off back under the rock they came from and don’t come back until they’ve got a plan for it.

Web designers have ego’s? Hell yes. There’s an annoying trend at the moment for those designers who thing they’re the dog’s bollocks and are trend setters, not trend followers. This trend is to call themselves a “ninja” or “rockstar” designer. Really?

 

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To me, it’s like someone who can program in BASIC telling an assembler or C++ coder how to write a program.They have a simplistic view of development through the eyes of HTML and jQuery, which somehow entitles them to start telling me how to do PHP and MySQL.

No, you can fuck right off.

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