Ebay is great for buying obscure things like old computers, memorabilia and er … girlfriends.
The following advert was on Ebay, for all of a few minutes. I don’t understand why, sounds like a genuine description to me.
One annoying twat of a girlfriend. WARNING GOODS ARE DEFECTIVE!!! Slightly overweight. Teeth are cold (they come with little yellow jackets). Boring as hell. More varied sexlife available from a bag of spuds. She will two tone any residence she is allow access to in samba and sickly yellow, symbolic of a effeminate mexican. Can’t/won’t/shouldn’t be allowed to cook (this may result in poisoning). Owner is forced to sell in order that he be able to gain access to the TV and stop the bitch watching poxy DIY programs despite not knowing which end of a paintbrush to hold. Buyer will collect and never ever return. Attempts at refunds or returns may result in actual bodily harm. Please please please bid now!!! Hopefully said girlfriend will make her own bloody way to buyer saving P&P.
The advert was placed in the “Everything Else: Household Appliances” section.