I’m sick to death of people saying to me “you got to get Sky TV, it’s brilliant.” 

No, no, FUCKING no!

I have Virgin Media. 200 channels of shite as it is, why would I want the same 200 shite channels but with an extra 800 channels of shite?

Plus, I have a principle at stake. I believe Rupert Murdoch is a complete cunt, so no fucking way on this planet, while I still have air in my lungs, am I paying that fucker ANY money.

Well there is another reason. Our neighbour tried to get Sky but there’s a big fucking tree right in the way of the signal. Shame huh.

When you think it can’t get any worse, it can.

You’d have thought this bunch of fucktards would have learnt their lesson and actually “research” the story before printing it, instead of looking like a bigger bunch of tossers.

Lying is bad enough, but doing it deliberately with barely concealed xenophobia is an utter disgrace.

But what the fuck is the point, the four million retards who read the paper wouldn’t know the truth if it bit them on the arse.