The end is nigh! Supposed to be anyway

It was my intention to close my Twitter account when I hit 10,000 tweets. I don’t know why I haven’t, probably something like not expecting to hit it so soon so I’m a little surprised, but I’m feeling a little lost at the moment. Social networking is difficult for me at the best of times. I’m not social, and I’m not a people person so it’s a real drag sometimes.

Over the last few days I’ve been overcome by a sense of embarrassment when I have the #atheist and #atheism columns running on my TweetDeck screen. Well over 90% of what is said by fellow “atheists” on there is taking things a little too far in my book.

@asonofselene said “Even though some one’s beliefs seem ‘stupid’ to you, calling them stupid will only alienate them and make you look stupid” and that’s absolutely correct. I don’t find Christianity stupid, I sure it’s comforting to people in their lifes. No, what I think is stupid is perverting history and science, and that’s what I sometimes am overly passionate about, and leads me to swearing like a trooper.

As an atheist, I don’t have an issue with any organised religion, I don’t notice it, it just doesn’t register with me. Religion is that relevant to me.

But I’ll be damned if I want Christianity to disappear, be silenced, persecuted or anything of the sort. I’ll be in the front of the queue for your human rights to be protected, even if you won’t give atheists like me the time of day and damn me to hell for eternity.

So now it’s hit me why I wanted to close my Twitter account and start a new one. I want a quiet time on Twitter. I want more than just atheism on my timeline.

Depression strikes again

This has been creeping up on me for a while now, but it’s only now hit me full in the face. Yes, the roller coaster ride that is my life has hit the depression stage again, and unusually there wasn’t the manic stage beforehand.

The last few weeks have been complete shite. The constant battle with the marketing department to get some consistency on the web site is a constant source of resentment in me. Coupled with the tedium of my job at the best of times, it’s not a healthy mix.

But worse of all, on Tuesday my Uncle Alan was buried. It didn’t really hit me until we moved from the chapel to the grave side. He was buried in his son Paul’s grave. Now Paul was a cousin of my mine who died of the same condition I had, and I’ve had a terrible guilt complex about his death when he rang me up to ask about the operation and I said “it’ll all be ok.” After his death several years ago, I didn’t speak to Uncle Alan. To see them both in the same grave didn’t help.

It was uplifting to go to the wake, and apart from wondering “who’s’ that” for three hours, it was a good occasion because a) it’s not often my brother comes down from Malvern to visit and b) I met all the uncles, aunties and cousins who I remember from my childhood. Perhaps turning up with a hangover from the night before when I went out with my brothers wasn’t the best idea, but it’s what my Uncle would have wanted.

So anyway, my misery continues and if one more person asks me in work “what can I do to help?” I’m going to swing for them. You can’t do anything; it’s just the cycle of my life. I’ve been pretty good since my two years of therapy at spotting I’m on the edge of falling into a depressive state, but the past two weeks have been too much for my frail grip on reality to handle.

In this state, I’ve deleted two Twitter accounts, two yahoo accounts I’ve had for donkey’s years that I used to annoy people with on the internet and finally decimated my main Twitter account of followers who, according to my head at the moment, “suck.”

It’ll probably mean I’m out of some people’s good books, but not in a position to care at the moment.

Give it a few days and I’ll snap out of it and I’ll be right as rain again.


Another piece of consumer research.

I love surveys. I never get bored of the ridiculous questions people are asked, so when one asking what most annoys women came up I knew I was in for a treat.

I thought things like sitting on the sofa and scratch our bollocks would come pretty high, but can’t see it.

What did surprise me was the number one grievance that 54% of the fairer, rather easily upset sex had. I bet you can’t guess.

Yes out of everything us men do that can possibly annoy your pretty little heads , the winner is … *drum roll* … leaving the toilet seat up. Well you could knock me down with a feather. Girls, girls. just how much fucking effort is it for you to put your hand out and pull the seat back down? If that kind of petty shit is the worst in your life with your partner, then you’ve led a very sheltered life.

What really go me about this article is that there is a device that you can buy called the Lav Nav. For just £20 (batteries not included), the piss wars can be over. *facepalm* I despair sometimes.

It didn’t get better with the rest of the list, which included

  • Wet towels on the bed. I’m no scientist but WATER DRIES! Get over it
  • Leaving dirty laundry left on the floor is annoying I have to admit, but you know what I do when I see the wife’s lying on the floor. I pick it up and put it in the laundry basket. No upset, no domestics, and carry on with my day.
  • Snoring is annoying and I’m told I do this, but strangely enough it’s like getting a woman to admit they masterbate, they never do it themselves.
  • Not replacing toilet roll is easily solved in a few seconds by getting one yourself. Problem solved again.
  • Leaving toenail clippings and loose change around the home. Not sure why these two are lumped together.
  • Drinking straight from the milk bottle. I do this, don’t see the harm considering other bodily fluids we are exposed to in our relationship. I’ll remember to use this excuse when begged for oral sex.
  • Refusing to ask for directions when lost, as opposed to driving aimlessly around because you’re scared you’ll look stupid.

I think I can feel a Twitter survey coming on about what really gets on our tits about women 🙂

The continuing saga of Raoul Moat sympathy

I’ve just witnessed the Culture Secretary, and forgive me but the bastard was so boring to listen to I didn’t catch his name, has just called people who have sympathy of Raoul Moat “sick perverts”.

Well, excuse me Mr, erm, dullard politician for expressing empathy for a fellow human being who was ignored by those who are SUPPOSED to help people with mental health issues.

I’m glad to see Facebook didn’t give in to this pathetic interference from this pathetic government, although the owner of the group of FB should grow a pair of balls and not give in to easy but as always happens on the internet, more groups have spawned.


Sympathy for Raoul Moat is a BAD thing? You’re wrong David Cameron!

Our erstwhile Prime Minister David Cameron, stood up in the House of Commons today and was asked about flowers left outside Raoul Moat’s house. What this has to do with Parliment is another question I’d like answered, but DC said “Raoul Moat was a callous murderer, full stop, end of story.”  Yes he was a murderer, I agree but I can’t agree with his next statement that ”I cannot understand any wave, however small, of public sympathy for this man.”

I’m sorry Cameron, but you’re wrong. It’s blatantly obvious to ANYONE who has followed the story that Raoul Moat had serious mental health issues going back to July 2009 from tape recordings released by the family.

He was ill. He was ignored. He has my sympathy as much as the victims of his crimes do but then I’m even handed Mr Cameron. And not a Tory prick.

Game over for Grand Theft Auto Rothbury

Raoul Moat - Armed, dangerous and ginger

This is actually quite tragic and not Raoul Moat-ly funny.

Oh dear. The enjoyment of seeing the Keystone Cops police running around the countryside looking for Raoul Moat is over after he killed himself.

It brings to an end a week of tragedy for the relatives of those involved, but also a week of blanket media coverage.

Any Tom, Dick or Harry with a link to Raoul Moat, no matter how tenuous, wheeled out in front the TV cameras or interviewed by the newspapers, to give their half-arsed psychological profiling of this man, who they met once. Or twice. Ten years ago. Hurray for journalism.

For example, Yvette Foreman crawled out of the woodwork to get her name in the news. She spent weekends camping with him when the pair were both were in their 20’s. In their 20’s? Now let’s see Raoul was 37 so that was 17 years ago. And do you know what she said? This is priceless.

From the BBC News web site:

She said her ex-boyfriend had been a “lovely lad” and a practical joker who was “daft as a brush”.

Yes, thanks love that really helps.

From the Telegraph quoting another attention seeker, Mr Herdman.

“I saw him running along that wall and open the greenhouse door. I was looking out of the landing window and saw him distinctly,” he said.

“He was wearing dark clothing, he was crouching down behind the wall trying to hide himself.”

When Mr Herdman’s friend returned to inspect the greenhouse he noticed that the only ripe tomato in his crop had disappeared.

Three murders and the theft of a tomato. Quick lock the bastard up¡

But it doesn’t take an ordinary member of the public to make a twat of themselves, a celebrity can do it just as effectively. Enter Paul Gascoigne, who in a moment of genius turns up during negotions with…

can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and something to keep warm

Yeah, alcohol is exactly what he needs right now. But Gazza, what else can you do to help?

I just want to give him some therapy and say ‘come on Moaty, it’s Gazza’.

He is alright – simply as that and I am willing to help him. I have come all the way from Newcastle to Rothbury to find him, have a chat with him.

Excuse me, I just have to ROTFLMAO a second.

I guarantee, Moaty, he won’t shoot me. I am good friends with him.


Police shooting a Tazer. I have the same face having a shit

Some bozo thought a 24 hour news channel would be a great idea, but when there’s fuck all else happening, you have to pad this shit out for as long as possible. In the case of Sky and ITV, you also throw in as much sensationalist bullshit as possible.

If you don’t have any concrete news, why not speculate? The BBC says:

Unconfirmed reports suggested a friend of Moat was also brought inside the police cordon to try to persuade him to surrender

It’s pathetic.

Anyway, that’s my rant over with, I’ll leave you with something more interesting about this story.

Raoul moat – the 24th englishman not to get to the end of the World Cup finals.

I wonder why you didn’t answer these Kate?

It’s only Monday, and already some fascinating information is coming out of the police files about the disappearance of Madeline McCann.

The most interesting so far is a list of 48 questions that Kate McCann didn’t answer during the marathon 11 hour police questioning.

Let’s see if refusing to answer these questions would make the police a little suspicious.

  • How long did your search of the apartment take after you detected your daughter Madeleine’s disappearance?
  • Why did you say from the start that Madeleine had been abducted?
  • Why did you go and warn your friends instead of shouting from the verandah?
  • What does “we let her down” mean?
  • When the sniffer dog also marked human blood behind the sofa, did you say you couldn’t explain any more than you already had?
  • When the sniffer dog marked the scent of corpse coming from the vehicle you hired a month after the disappearance, did you say you couldn’t explain any more than you already had?
  • When human blood was marked in the boot of the vehicle, did you say you couldn’t explain any more than you already had?
  • When confronted with the results of Maddie’s DNA, whose analysis was carried out in a British laboratory, collected from behind the sofa and the boot of the vehicle, did you say you couldn’t explain any more than you already had?

Those are perfectly reasonable questions of the police to ask, if not just to exclude the parents from involvement.

The most telling question she didn’t answer was:

Did you have any responsibility or intervention in your daughter’s disappearance?

Very strange, and don’t give me that traumatised bollocks, she didn’t look it when she marched around the fucking resort with that bloody bunny!

I can see why the Portuguese police made them suspects.

The Grapevine Revival. The Final Word

intro1Anyone remember the revival of Grapevine?

Yeah, well I was one of major people responsible.

Do I regret it?

Do I bollocks.

It takes more than a bunch of twats on, EAB, Pouet and whatever web sites these particulars cunts inhabit to put me, or the team behind it off.

The Grapevine Revival was, in my mind at least, never intended to be a “scene magazine”, I wanted it to have a broader range of content than that. I didn’t want a readership of a few hundred, I wanted more. The only thing that stopped it was the lazy, apathetic nature of people: you want to read it but can’t be fucking arsed to do anything for it.

That’s why it failed, and that’s why I don’t care about the ex-LSD’ers coming out from the woodwork and mouthing off. Or for that matter the other gobshites who are involved in the piss poor excuse of a “scene” that we’ve been lumbered with. You’re a fucking disgrace to what has gone before, and I won’t take lectures from those people.

What were the reasons behind its closure?

Well that was 100% down to me. I owned the web space, I designed and programmed the magazine engine and I wrote the intros and GVEE (Grapevine Experience Enhancer).  After the first three issues, the main writers (myself and Dazzaboy) run out of steam, we just couldn’t carry the weight or pick up the slack from the contributors we had assembled. Also, the quality of the articles were were receiving was just appalling but I didn’t mind for the issues that had gone before, it was a jumpstart, but we couldn’t carry on like that anymore. I was trying to program an executable version of the magazine as well as editing the shit writing from others.

So I closed the web site without any notice to the anyone else, including DazzaBoy who had effectively been running the site while I was dithering about what to do.

intro3I made a backup of the site, exported the databases and wiped it all and then disappeared for seven months to concentrate on real life and the next generation of my web sites. Not something some of the people involved forgave me for, but fuck ’em, it was the right decision and I stand by it even now.

From what I’ve read on other web sites, there seems to be an idea that the site was closed because of interventions/comments by Pazza and D-Man. As if!!

Even if I was aware, and I didn’t hear about it until nine months after I closed the site, and things were going well, I wouldn’t have paid any attention to what they said anyway, the day I listen to anything racist cunts from hell like D-Man say, Satan will be going to work in a snow plough! As for Pazza, well less said the better, his attitude problem with anyone and everyone hasn’t improved and my opinion of him is still as low as it was all those years ago. Hence why I started writing for Deadlock instead of Grapevine many, many years ago.

What could we have done to make it more successful?

I don’t think anything would have made it more successful in the short term. In the long term, things could have been different. I had a new design in the works, and there was a PC executable version I was pissing around with on and off for several weeks, so it could have been a new lease of life in the project.

After all the shit that has been thrown at us, and the pages of drivel in other magazines and forums about us, none of which comes even close to the reality of the situation, no I don’t regret anything about the comeback we attempted.

I don’t think it was that bad, but looking back at some of the content now, I’d have to say that half of what went into each issue should have been wiped as soon as it was received by email.

Given time it could have worked, but no, no regrets whatsoever.