Devon is a spooky hotspot. Really?

Yes I shit you not, this is front page news on This is Exeter. I know fuck all happens down here, but seriously.

“Nine cases [of vampires] have been spotted in the county over the last century – more than in Dracula’s homeland of Transylvania.”

So Romanian’s only reported seeing eight vampires, while nine Devonians should be locked up for their own protection. FFS.

It gets better though,

“A total of 211 cases were reported across Britain, many resulting in police investigations.”

*rubs eyes* Did I just read that? These 211 people, who we could do without on this planet, phone the emergency services and said “I’ve seen a vampire”… and the police turned up. What the fucking fuck! “Arm yourself with garlic Bob, this could be a bad one.”

facepalm-single

Famed “expert” Reverend Lionel Fanthorpe, says “our research suggests that the UK harbours more vampires than Transylvania.” Might I venture the opinion that is shows that Romanians know vampires are fucking fiction and are less gullible that the UK?

Rule 34

This is from a discussion last night, when my good friend J stated they were wearing Snoopy pyjamas. Given the nature of most discussions I have with people, I stated that Rule 34 of the internet will soon be invoked. “Rule 34? What’s that?” Glad you asked. Rule 34 states : “if it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.” Not of Snoopy surely, she pleads, who loved Snoopy in her childhood? Yes, even Snoopy is a dirty little bastard in the sick minds of internet users.

Someone thought this was a good idea, and then drew it.

Believe me, this is one of the milder images I could have posted! But maybe that’s just a one off? Well let’s piss on her cornflakes some more and look for … oh I don’t know… Minnie Mouse 🙂

So this quick blog post illustrates two things.

  1. How weird my conversations are with my friends
  2. How fucked up some people are in the internet.