In my continuing series of combating depression by browsing the internet, I once again turn to Tumblr, home of the biggest bunch of special, narcissist fuckwitts.

We all love animals, I know I do… except cats. They can fuck right off. But let me introduce you to Otherkin.

Otherkin are people who think they are animals trapped in a human body, because being a plain old boring human being just doesn’t get the attention these idiots people crave, but let me give you a random example of what this is about. Brace yourself, this is going to blow your mind.

the lack of side vision that a human head has is so frustrating for me as a horse kin/therian. so is the lack of ability to tilt my ears! and hands and feet just don’t feel the same as the hooves i miss

facepalm-single

Yes, this wazzock is missing binocular vision, because you know, reasons.

Oh, and I might have misled you a little, when I said “animals trapped in a human body”, I actually meant “anything trapped in human form.” How about:

I’m the same as those 2 modern vampkin but I’m werewolfkin!

facepalm-double

Think someone might have been watching too much Twilight.

Name an animal, it’s out there: tigerkin, lionkin, dragonkin, all animals that are strong, powerful and graceful. But what if you have self-esteem issues? What if you’re a socially inept 40kg weaking living in your parents basement, they’ve got you covered. Meet slugkin.

Okay so im annoyed. I wish more people would be more inclusive of slugkin, you might think slugs are gross but you cant just discriminate!!

facepalm-triple

Does salt trigger you by any chance? Unsurprisingly, I couldn’t find any people identifying as a dung beetle, but give it time.

Some animals or whatever random shit these people think they are, have limited timespans. I mean if you are a hamsterkin, you’re going to be dead in three or four years. What happens then? Well that’s been thought of as well:

my kintype died and then came back as a ghost with a completely different personality and look. And its the hardest thing ever to describe him

Writing this shit, I’ve gone from pissing myself laughing to having so many facepalms that it looks like I’ve been involved in domestic violence.

But reading Tumblr, it makes me glad I’m me. I might suffer from depression and anxiety. I might avoid social situations like the plague, but never, even in the darkest pits of hell that my mind takes me, have I ever thought I might be a fucking slug.

Check out the Tumblrtards at http://kinfessions.tumblr.com and http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com.

By mh

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